I have come to the general consensus that many people are not as understanding of intimacy as they believe. Perhaps due to a lack of it in their childhoods or perhaps from an insecurity that projects, but either way I have begun to realize that the world is full of people that are emotionally unavailable.
The journey of what is my romantic life and the more recent status as an engaged woman living with her partner has taught me quite a lot. Firstly, there is no such thing as being too needy or too affectionate if you are with a person truly compatible with you. The person meant for you will never tire of being around you and you will be best friends. I say this as I sit at the kitchen counter right next to my fiancé as he types away at his own computer. A partner meant for you will bring you joy, comfort, and companionship.
Of course, it should be said that every person should also be able to find comfort and joy alone and that this post is not meant to necessarily speak about the modern era’s toxic dating culture.
I suppose this post is more so to address and validate the romanticism of romance and to tell you, dear reader, that you deserve the type of love you crave. Do not allow yourself to settle or convince yourself that the love you dream about is not real or attainable — it is, you just have to find the right person.
I will admit, however, that love is a very scary thing and even scarier to navigate because it requires hope and trust. You can only control yourself and only truly know yourself, so it is terrifying have to just believe and trust that the person you want does want you in return.
With that said, trust your gut instinct. If you feel a romantic partner is not doing enough to satisfy you, then that simply means that they are not. Communicate your needs to them to give them the opportunity to satisfy you. If they fail to or deem that unrealistic, they simply are not the right person for you.
But, that said, I must stress that communication is key. It is the most vital aspect of forming and maintaining any relationship. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to communicate effectively. You cannot expect anyone to just know your needs and read your mind, nor can you just do that for anyone else. Any relationship you have will be doomed to fail if you cannot communicate.
Additionally, no relationship can thrive is you go through it waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you anticipate the relationship to end, it is very likely that you will bring about your own suffering and self-sabotage that idea into a reality.
Be genuine. Be open. Be positive.